“You are not made to be alone”
I don’t know when the first time I heard that quote was. If I had to guess it was probably around my second year of college. But I can tell you, it wasn’t until I graduated that I really let it sink in. When I graduated college, like most people, my community vanished. They moved to other places with aspirations of big jobs and being back close to their family. But those words, “you are not made to be alone” stung in my mind every. single. day.
I’ve always lived an extremely independent life, never to worry about going to the bathroom alone, never needing a roommate or even really anyone to hang out with on a Friday night. I was pretty content with a good book and a coffee shop. But the years just after graduation gave me a longing for the community that I was missing and a hope to not have to be alone, even though I knew I could.
When I started my journey towards foster care, the thing I heard most was, “But are you doing this by yourself”, “Aren’t you single?”, “Do they let you foster as a single parent?”, “That’s a lot to carry by yourself”. Their comments were well meaning, but they often crushed my spirit and made me doubt if I would in fact be able to do this on my own. I knew the story that I felt I was being called to walk. I knew that I was determined to live the bigger story for my life, and to not take the easy road- but I also knew that they were right. I knew I couldn’t do this alone. I knew I wasn’t made to do this alone.
Over the months of foster care classes I began to not only recruit my army of support, but I began to hear God whisper, “You could do this on your own if you really tried, but I’m not going to let you.” My family rallied around me and so did my co-workers and church. As Christmas neared, I knew I would be getting my certification in the mail any day. My mom bought an extra stocking, just in case I got a little one right before Christmas. My co-workers raided their children’s toys and clothes for things they didn’t need any more. And my church prayed for me constantly. In so many ways I was doing this alone- but in so may ways I felt carried by those around me.
“You could do this on your own if you really tried, but I’m not going to let you.”
About a week before Christmas, I finally received my foster care certification letter in the mail. That same day, a friend introduced me to a man that would change this journey in the most loving, supportive and best way possible. I had every intention to do this foster journey as a single parents, but he swooped in and has proven to be the best male figure and pseudo foster dad for little bit that I could ever ask for.
I could legit cry when I think about the ways he has changed our lives. How many phone calls or text did I send him in the first few months when I was exhausted after a long day and seeking encouragement. How many times, plus more, did he not only encourage me but lift me up even higher to give me new hope for a new day of successful momming. How many headbands and teddy bears and purses has he held while we tried to get our stuff together. How many hugs and hand-holds has he given us over the last 8 months of our time with little bit.
I could brag on him all day, but if I said that I didn’t know a man could exist, who would fit little bit’s or my life so perfectly, it would be an understatement. He loves us well, and he goes out of his way to care for our needs. He’s never complained that the two of us rarely go out on dates by ourselves because he’s too busy soaking in our little family while we can.
I am so incredibly thankful to have his unwavering suport, and I am so thankful to have my friends, co-workers and family around me everyday. I will never doubt again that God equips us for the journey we are called to. I am so thankful to be living the bigger story that was made for our lives, and I am beyond indebted to those people who are a part of our foster care army. Seriously, we couldn’t do it without y’all.